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Michel's Complaints: The Lorelais' First Day at Chilton 1.2

Updated: Sep 11, 2021

Hello and welcome to an extensive list of all of my favorite quotes. No, these are not all Michel complaining. I just added that for the sake of including almost all members in these fun titles. Without further ado, let the Gilmore quoting commence.

RORY: Do you know what happens to people when they're late on their first day?

LORELAI: It's shorter?

LORELAI: I'm just trying to see if there's a hunchback up in that belltower.

This is alluding to The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, a Gothic novel by French author Victor Hugo which was first published in 1831. Set in the Middle Ages, the protagonist of the novel is Quasimodo, a hunchback who is the bell-ringer in the cathedral of Notre-Dame in Paris. It has several times been adapted to film. The most recent for Lorelai and Rory in 2000 would be the 1996 animated Disney version.

LORELAI: You ready?


LORELAI: You ready?

RORY: Yes.

LORELAI: Well, there's nothing like friends. Especially if they're old... ones.

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON: Failure is a part of life, but not a part of Chilton.

MADELINE: I hate nature.

Bet you didn’t even realize this was a reference, huh. I didn’t the first few times I watched this show. And if you did, well. Good. It’s a reference to the film The Goonies. The character of Chunk (Jeff Cohen) says as he runs alone to find help at night: “I like the dark, I love the dark. But I hate nature. I hate nature!” Interesting little catch there.

LORELAI: This is not an herbal tea morning. This is a coffee morning.

LUKE: Every morning for you is a coffee morning.

LORELAI: This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an I.V.

LUKE: I can give you tea and a Balance Bar.

LORELAI: My clothes were at the cleaners, and I had the fuzzy clock and it didn't purr on time.

LUKE: It didn't purr?

LORELAI: It's fuzzy. It purrs.

EMILY: But there are five days in a school week.

LORELAI: Really? Are you sure? Because my days of the week underwear only go to Thursday.

Hands down one of my favorite phone conversations between Emily and Lorelai (although, it’s hard to choose just one favorite). Lorelai is sarcastically joking that she only thought there were four days in the school week because her days of the week underwear only go from Monday to Thursday.

LORELAI: Well, then we'll use this newfangled thing called a washing machine. The town just chipped in and bought one. My turn's Tuesday.

PARIS: The Franklin. The school paper. Are you going out for it?

RORY: I don't know, I have to find my locker first.

PARIS: This school is my domain, and The Franklin is my domain. And don't you ever forget that.

GUEST: Oh, excuse me sir. Can you tell me where we can find the best antiques?

MICHEL: At your house, I'd guess.

RORY: I kind of view studying as a solitary activity, but thanks.

I actually used this line once in high school to reject a "let's study together" offer from a guy in my class. But I also really did prefer studying alone. So it wasn't a complete lie.

LORELAI: Mr. Personality of the New Millennium.

Not sure why I love this quote, but I do. It's like the most perfect way to sarcastically sum up Luke Danes.

BABETTE: They kicked the gnome.


BABETTE: Right in the head.

MOREY: That's just not cool.

LORELAI: I'm very sorry. Is the gnome okay?

BABETTE: Oh, he's fine sugar, thanks for asking. But I wouldn't trust these boys. Gnome kicking says a lot about a man's character.

LORELAI: Nothing Shakespeare couldn't turn into a really good play!

Lorelai is most likely thinking of the tragedies by William Shakespeare which rely on family conflict, such as King Lear or Romeo and Juliet.

LORELAI: We like our internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, do a little dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there's no dancing, no walking, and we'd starve.

RORY: Wow, biblical insults. This is an advanced school.

I went to a private school as well, so I appreciated this line.

LORELAI: What if Lane comes along, and you guys can shop and study and join a cult and shave your heads?

LORELAI: Lane, your mother is gonna kill me if I keep sending you home fed and happy.

LORELAI: Yeah, angry chicks are the worst. When I was in high school, I had a Paris.

RORY: Yeah?

LORELAI: Yeah, she was horrible.

RORY: How'd you get rid of her?

LORELAI: I got pregnant and dropped out.

RORY: What if I just learn to French-braid her hair?

LORELAI: Even better.

I appreciate you reading this far. If you're enjoying yourself, feel free to continue onto the next episode. No rules here. This is a fun space.

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