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Michel's Complaints: Pilot 1.1

Updated: Oct 10, 2023

Hello and welcome to an extensive list of all of my favorite quotes. No, these are not all Michel complaining. I just added that for the sake of including almost all members in these fun titles. Without further ado, let the Gilmore quoting commence.


LORELAI: He's got quite a pair this guy.

Warning: We're switching a little bit to The Unfiltered Gilmore here. Just for a second. So if you're sensitive to (slightly) inappropriate descriptions and/or under the age of 18 (it's really not that bad, but just to be safe), go ahead and skip this one. So, this phrase means to act or behave in a strong, confident, and/or courageous manner. Short for “have a pair of balls,” but is not exclusively said of a male. See? Not that bad. But nonetheless, back to being filtered now.


RORY: I'm still fuzzy on what's fun about sitting in the cold for two hours with a bundle of sticks up your butt.

LANE: Don't expect me to clear it up for you.

This is in reference to the town hayride, also known as a hayrack ride, which is a traditional American and Canadian activity consisting of a recreational ride in a wagon or cart pulled by a tractor, horses, or a truck, which has been loaded with hay or straw for comfortable seating.


MRS. KIM: Boys don't like funny girls.

RORY: Noted.



RORY: You're happy.

LORELAI: Yeah.

RORY: Did you do something slutty?

LORELAI: I'm not that happy.

This quote implies that Lorelai is known to do “slutty” things.


RORY: You didn't... with the principal... did you?

This could be a reference to Forrest Gump, which is a 1994 film directed by Robert Zemeckis and with Tom Hanks in the title role. In the film, Forrest’s mother, played by Sally Field, has sex with the principal to persuade him to allow her simple-minded son (IQ of 75) to attend school.


MICHEL: People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them.


RORY: Good. Make a note. You wouldn't want to forget where the round cakes are.



LORELAI: A grunt of acknowledgment might be nice.


LORELAI: Does he have a motorcycle? Cause if you're gonna throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle!

Possibly one of the most iconic lines of the show. Never gets old.



EMILY: An education is the most important thing in the world, next to family.

LORELAI: And pie.


RICHARD: People die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.

LORELAI: Well at least you have your new slogan.

This refers to insurance, which is a means of protection from financial loss. It is a form of risk management, primarily used to hedge against the risk of a contingent or uncertain loss. An entity which provides insurance is known as an insurer, insurance company, insurance carrier or underwriter.


LORELAI: How much did you hear?

RORY: Not much. You know, snippets.

LORELAI: Snippets?

RORY: Little snippets.

LORELAI: So basically everything?

RORY: Basically, yes.


LUKE: Coffee... fries. I can't stand it. This is so unhealthy. Rory, please, put down that cup of coffee. You do not want to grow up to be like your mom.

RORY: Sorry, too late.




I appreciate you reading this far. If you're enjoying yourself, feel free to continue onto the next episode. No rules here. This is a fun space.




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